I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
