she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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