The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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