Yo dont text me then not text me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize