what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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