Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.

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(352): View more from Florida

I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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(916): View more from California

Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?

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(889): View more from

found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing

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(770): View more from Georgia

Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"

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