I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
