Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your penis caused this!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
