Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
