Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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