i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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