Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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