no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
