I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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