i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
