I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
