Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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