Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
