There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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