she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
