she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
