dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
