he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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