Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
