He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
