He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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