Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize