tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
