I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
