No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He passed out mid-signature
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
