why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it because I queefed?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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