Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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