Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
