so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
