It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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