Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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