he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it's like iHOP with fire
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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