I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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