I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
