it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
