How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
