I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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