Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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