I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize