How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
