I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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