Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
