It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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