a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He? As in you personified your dick?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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