Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
