marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
how drunk are you?
Several
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
