I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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