if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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