So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
