It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
