Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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