i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
