We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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